E-mails from Recidivist

These are e-mails I wrote from my sail from Hawaii to California. It took 15 days almost exactly....

Aloha Everyone,

Just got an e-mail from Rick the Weather Guy who says we are making great progress. The wind and waves have been mellow besides rain at night and a few squalls (nothing over 20 knots)
We caught a 12-15lbs. Mahimahi yesterday and Sherry, having the best sea legs of us all, cooked it up with some rice, peas, and furikaki...delicious!
Today was the last day of happy hour now that our ice has melted. I keep having semi-conscious dreams that we can pull over at the 7 eleven and get some more.
The first night out we saw a moonbow = rainbow illuminated by the moon, along with a stunning red sunset the following night. Yesterday night the stars were amazing and sparkling brighter than the phosphorescence bouncing off our tail. We took the opportunity to bust out the green laser that our friend Kahi lent us. We can point directly at a star and see the beam the whole way. Thanks Kahi!!
There have been bits and pieces of trash here and there and a possible boobie/albatros. Our spirits are high and we have fallen into a fairly good pattern of sleep. Our watches are 2 hours on (1 on deck & 1 driving) and 3 hours off- constantly. It isn't as bad as I thought it would be and I even enjoy the late night watches with the moon lighting everything up. We have decided that the squalls love JP and Reid, the rain loves Sherry and Roscoe, I often get a little of both.

Miss you all!

Jess (Roscoe, Reid, Sherry, & JP)




Aloha!

As I write Roscoe is on deck manning the auto pilot, which we have dubbed "Mr. Auto Peeloteh," and the rest of the crew is falling asleep in their bunks to the sweet diesel engine lullaby. We also have another new member aboard- Carlton Wintrop Jr. III (Ken we'll let you figure out who that is.) No we are not losing it, just finding ways to entertain ourselves. Just a little while ago Roscoe attempted to cool a few beers by dragging them off the back of the boat but it seems the water still isn't cold enough, which has me back to my conspiracy theory that we are actually going in circles.

Yesterday was Roscoe's birthday and hopefully marked our passage through the half-way point. We also enjoyed a well deserved break from the tiller and a little deck party to celebrate. I made Roscoe a jib sheet slip knot lei and a tang tai (tang with some meyers rum.) We listened to Jack Johnson and ate one of Roscoe's favorite dishes- Mapo Tofu. I also devoured most of the chocolate bar we shared for dessert :)It was good times.

I know it sounds like we are having a blast but we all do wish to make it to land soon. Missing friends, family, and lovers, with an ocean that can only comfort us so much. I, personally, can't wait to see the color green! We look forward to seeing all of you soon and have eager expectations of 6 days left to go.

Yesterday we also saw a big ship from Hong Kong. Funny how in the middle of the ocean our two courses almost intersected. We took their stern but not by much. Shortly after we made our first tack of the trip which might have trumped Roscoe's birthday celebrations by a few knots. And last night was one of the darkest yet. Stars were amazing but with no horizon steering gets tricky. As the moon fades we will continue to practice steering by numbers and hopefully see more shooting stars and a clearer milky way.

Lastly, I'll leave you with a rough copy of the message we wrote and threw out to sea in a bottle:

How to sail from Hawaii to California-

Step 1: Leave Hawaii going North-ish on a starboard tack
Step 2: Stay on Starboard tack until you go crazy
Step 3: When you see a big ship, tack
Step 4: Put on a sweater
Step 5: Keep going until you see a big red bridge


-Jess

Hi Dad,

Thanks for the e-mail. The sea state has been pretty mellow the whole way. I was surprised after a few days when I realized channel crossings in between the islands are much rougher than what we are experiencing. The swells are interesting though. Before I left I was studying up on some Hawaiian culture and I read that Hawaiians had many names for all the different sea swells (being that they were expert sailors.) It really is quite obvious that there are major differences in the swells as we continue on. As we are making way north I have noticed larger swells with bigger periods and distance between crests. Nothing close to the stories you have told me! We expect larger seas as we approach San Fran but they will be off our port quarter as we will be most likely on a broad reach...very manageable. The wind initially was around 10-15 knots, decreasing during the day and increasing at night. No squalls above 20 knots and they have ceased since we have left the warm waters. We just touched the high where there was practically no wind. We expected to be in it for a few days but really only got a few hours of it- It is a very illusive thing as I have come to find and must have been dancing around somewhere else while we past through. Now we are back to 9-11 knots of wind.

We have been motor sailing for the past few days because the wind has been inconsistent and to close to our nose. Today we ran out of fuel while I was on watch and Roscoe had to bleed air that had gotten in there. Apparently our calculations on fuel consumption were off. The owner estimated 10 hours for every 5 gallons of fuel, which is usually dead on, but it might be that the only diesel we could find was bio-diesel...still not sure what that is all about but it was from a gas station so we figured it was okay for diesel engines...any thoughts on that? Luckily the wind has shifted more north and our heading is more east so we have turned the engine off and are sailing at a steady 7 knots on a close reach. No auto pilot but I think we all enjoy getting back to the routine of actual shifts. I also haven't been able to sleep more than 2 hours a day since the engine turned on...and that has only happened if my dreams involved being in a boat or an airplane.

I wouldn't exactly call this luxurious...maybe compared to Great Grandfather Hansson's trip across the Atlantic, but we are all in very close quarters in a boat built for speed, not comfort. Luckily I brought a squishy yoga mat with me which I cut ear plugs out of today in order to drowned out the motor, which is pretty much my bunk buddy. JP, our token frenchman, has a theory that after about ten days everyone gets crabby. He calls is tendonitis. I wouldn't say we are cranky, but sure as hell ready to get there already. I have been staying positive but realistically I've had headaches the whole way and been feeling kinda junky- its only now getting to me. But this is all a challenge and I understand that. Won't be doing it again anytime soon. :) Its exciting to hear from you and if you have the time I would love some Tutu sailing stories or maybe that one about you delivering a boat and getting into bad weather.

LOVE YOU!!!

Jess



Hi Dad,

Your viking comment got quite a laugh on board. We are no where close to formidable so no need to surrender when we come in...except maybe to my desperate needs for some homemade mint ice cream (not too much sugar please.) :)and a Lisa salad! We are expecting to arrive on Monday if all goes well. The computer predicts 3 days 20 hours but the word is that the computer is often optimistic. Other boats are experiencing 18 knots near us so hopefully if we get into some of that breeze we'll make our way to the bridge earlier Monday.

Just as I finished writing you yesterday the swells picked up. I was feeling fine until the sun went down and the horizon disappeared. On my second shift of the night I ended up hanging my head overboard and releasing my chicken noodle soup dinner. The phosphorescence were going off, which actually made it quite the pleasant experience. Then I retired to some of the best sleep I've had yet...and this morning cooked up pasta and ate almost half the pot. Feeling much better. :)

I'll rally for a north bridge entrance if we come in during the day. Will keep you updated on our arrival so you can meet me at the dock if possible.

Love lots,

Jess

purposely disspossessed

The choice was- throw away half of my pay check on a cookie cutter studio that encouraged my sadness, or creatively live freely and increase my productivity therefore decreasing possible sadness time. And funny that some have thought this is a crazy idea, but when put simply it just makes sense.
A home truly allows for too much inner disappointment. If misery breed inspiration, and that is what you're looking for...stay cooped up in your house. Minds get too deep indoors.
So I did it. I can't say I would do it alone- luckily I have my trusty monkey boy to help out, and I'm also surrounded by many useful facilities that accommodate my homelessness, but i suppose it is worth it because I am only just now writing a another blog post that I originally intended to be used to keep me positive and happy. Ironically, being homeless has done that for me- blog or no blog.
A quick look through my previous posts and I realized this is what I was looking for all along- to appreciate the basics. And thanks to Michelle for taking a random picture of a stair with an "Enjoy Life" stenciled on it, which I keep now in front of the speedometer of my truck (I don't feel the need to speed much.)
I miss a kitchen with all my "neccesities" but I'm not worried about it. We'll be in a place soon enough but I believe things will be different now that I have experienced living simply.

waves, friends, laughter

"Suffering is like a disease we have all contracted. What we usually experience as pleasure is mostly a diminishment of pain.
If good food or drink, really were just pleasurable then no matter how much we ate or drank, we would feel greater and greater happiness in equal measure.
Instead, if we partake excessively, we begin to suffer in our bodies and our minds. This indicates that these experiences of pleasure have an inner nature of pain."

-Dalai Lama from "The Art of Happiness"


I had to read that over and over to really apply it to my life (and still do.) Instantly I accepted the truth of the statement, that the over indulging I always do reflects my unhappiness. But to change thought and live everyday motivated by an inner nature of happiness...that is the challenge. I suppose it would take years to achieve this, considering how jaded we are, but I think experiencing life less material objects and excess might be the final step to appreciating what we have enough to find happiness in just living.


"Since motivation precedes and drives actions, controlling it is the best way to prevent impulsive and possibly abusive physical and verbal actions. When you suddenly want something and just reach out and take it without considering the consequences, your desire is expressing itself impulsively.
Without benefit of reflection.
Continually examine your motivation." -Dalai Lama...

That's the hardest part- continually. We forget and forget and forget. That and compassion. I have a necklace that reads "compassion" on it, and even when I'm wearing it I forget to be patient with the asshole who just cut me off, or the bitch at the counter. Its hard. But without religion, this is my spirituality and the root is happiness. If we can get to the point where our motivation is true happiness...inner nature and all, I believe we can be satisfied beyond belief regardless of where we are. Alcohol...food....clothes...these things are not the answer. (waves, friends, laughter...?)

I was listening to NPR the other day and some researcher was talking about a study they did on people and happiness. They found that the people that rated themselves as very happy and content with life, all were surrounded by a close knit group of friends. I believe this is true. I have never been unhappy with life so long as I was surrounded with my friends. Just because they are not near us doesn't mean we don't have them. We have to make the best of where we live.


i guess this is my new break

Hello Economy...its us, Generation Y

I originally intended to write about why I and all the early 20 somethings alike, are feeling like shit with this bulimic bastard economy...but in my attempt to be optimistic (thank you blog) I decided to search for the silver lining. Side note- I just realized I can't write and listen to music at the same time because it interrupts the flowing literature I am attempting. cough cough. ha. but seriously.

We all remember the confusion and anger that steamed during our pubescence years, well I've decided that there should be an equally awkward classification for the period following college graduation. Maybe they could call it adulterty, like puberty but for"adults"...hmm, maybe not, sounds too much like adultery. Nonetheless, we are facing similar uncertainty transitioning (or should I say gimping) into full fledged independent adulthood. Can I get an amen?

Now this wouldn't be such a big deal if we graduated when the economy was booming and it was a sure shot to specialize in anything but elementary education or art and have a high paying job instantly (not totally realistic.) But we are entering the job market at an all time low with parents that expect us to have 401ks and pensions and one of those fancy corporate ladders. Sorry I'm such a disappointment dad. Yeah I'll get right on that 401k/pension b.s. that I keep reading in the paper. Oh, that's right, they are worthless now that the stock market plummeted. And why do I want to rely on social security when we all know it won't be around for us Y-ers.

And that's my point. Relax, don't feel the pressure. We're cool. While baby boomers and genXers are watching their retirement melt away, and their savings becoming less and less valuable, our debt is doing the same thing. Yey for debt. Not to mention, I don't own a home...do you? Do we even want to?

This is our chance to relax. Allowed by our financial flexibility (no kids no house no worries.) We're in a no pressure zone and its them experiencing the turbulence. The housing market will turn around along with the job market, like it always does, and hopefully we'll be there ready to take advantage of it. Our economy has slewed around (with the Bush administration) for too long and she is just reaping the repercussions. Unfortunately, her unwanted babies are being adopted by the government (baby big corp.) Yeah I'm pro choice...and becoming less of a fan of the "free market" (there is no such thing by the way...shhhh corporation sounds a lot like corruption.)

Luckily, our fearless leader is picking up the pieces and giving us some hope for recovery. "Generation Y" "Echo Boomers" "Millennium Gen" we're sitting pretty amidst the biggest economic meltdown since the depression. And after the drama of Clinton's fellatio, our country being attacked, 8 years of the worst President in history, and a continuing war, we've been through some shit and no stock market blow up is gonna get us down. We're going to build our riches on the dump left behind after all of this is over. Who's with me? :)

I feel you

Its funny how the smallest things can bring back the strongest memories. Some similarity of a moment in time reflecting perfectly off the future regardless of 2000 miles. And I'm sure my fellow beached whales can understand the web of confusion that boggles our minds when feeling lost at an uncertain age in an uncertain place that looks nothing like home.
I know a few souls...floating in the same fishbowl...that wish they could just swim away to clear blue water and coconut trees. He reminded me. When he wrote a song that caused us to cry and question why. Are we here for a reason or just to be. Misery is not in my cards so I wiped my tear and found those smallest things to remind me of eventuality (i love that word.)
It mostly breaks my heart seeing more of us breaking down from the transition. But all I can say is they are not gone, we are merely existing away from them on a journey to find ourselves...maybe it wasn't what we thought it would be, but if we flood our mind with heartache we'll flush out all the aloha.
back to the beach
I think I'll go jump off the high dive into some aloha. Go swim in that for a while.

Louise and Kahi

Louise is one of the most amazing people on the earth and Kahi is her second. They are on a surf trip around the world, which can be tracked by visiting the site eatdrinksurf. They are an inspiration, not just in living your dream, but loving life and always smiling. I was thinking about my personal quest to make barefoot prints around the world and I came up with this small waterfall of thoughts-

the many variations of the earth
from cold to hot and high to low
wet to dry and dark to light
I'm curious to attempt to blend
adapt, accept. Culture and race
and every difference I haven't seen
in a sheltered America where my boundaries lie.
And although the thought scares me,
I'd like to take a sip, of the
world. so my core will adapt,
my eyes will dilate, and my skin
will shed. Until I know life- of
this earth and grow like the grass
so I'll die experienced.

To start a new chapter he says

It boils down to one thing. And that is happiness. I read a book twice called the Art of Happiness, which was based on 8 years of interviews between the Dali Lama and a psychologist. Never did I finish the last chapters, but it always realigned my positive and injected compassion into my mind, life, spirit, whatever. Problem is that my brain, which operates like many others, works on use it or lose it terms. I think this is why self-help books are such money makers. We need something to continually keep us on track. Groups, books, distractions, something.

So Roscoe is my Dali Lama right now. Completely compassionate towards me no matter how hard I'm falling (on my face.) But he inspires me when he finally stirs up some emotion and lets me in on his feelings. He makes me want to be a better person and I admire his ability to do it so effortlessly, in a very non-condescending way. I talk a lot about my personal issues, which always gets me a lot of feedback on what I "should" and "need" to do. Most people don't understand that you are not seeking out answers, you're seeking out some sort of absorption of your troubles. Roscoe is my willing sponge so long as I can squeeze him out often enough with happier thoughts.

Thats where the new chapter came into play.

I left Hawaii (to escape myself), only to realize my shadow follows me even over oceans. I've moved twice in less than a year, regressing in quality of life (not counting health) and now I find myself in an emotional pickle jar...looking for a way out to a happier place (perhaps a sandwich or egg salad.) Its a confusing thing when happiness and sadness reside in you 50/50. And I let them dual it out for a while but realized that I am the ref of this game and the choice is mine.

So I chose happiness...and this blog is my self-help book/group/spirituality. blah blah blah. Cause I need to stay on track, and no I don't self regulate easily.
side note-who needs proper english/punctuation when writing whats in my head...it should come out more naturally (excuses excuses)